Cynical

I am a horrible person.

I was just referred to Adam Young's Twitter feed  (@owlcity) and informed that I should follow him.  His off-beat sense of humor meshes with mine:

Can't decide whether I like John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" or One Direction's "Take Me Home" better.
— Owl City (@owlcity) April 11, 2013

I'm not breaking any ground here.  He has a million followers already, and I'm just learning of him.  Apparently I am not as hip as I used to be.  In fact, I may not have been hip since the last time people used the word "hip" in reference to anything beyond an acetabulofemerol joint.

flickr user: prodigaldog

So I quickly hit the follow button and scrolled through a few of Adam's Tweets, chuckling along the way.

I have a lot of anxiety attacks. When should I start seeing results?
— Owl City (@owlcity) April 11, 2013

I then went to his profile on Twitter and found the link to his blog: http://www.ayoungblog.com/

Looking for more funnies, I discover personal philosophies and Christian teachings.  I immediately resent having to read this material (that I snooped around and found on my own) and began liking this stranger less.  Despite my Catholic upbringing, I still have this visceral response to unexpected evangelizing.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with the act; I'm just a cynical bastard.  I actually considered unfollowing Adam, even though he made me laugh for several minutes.

What's wrong with me?  He didn't make me read anything.  His writings are inspirational and completely positive, no judgements at all.  I was the one judging him.

Then it hit me ... I am the reason why the middle of the country dislikes "Liberal Elites."

By Angr (self-made; base map is Image:Blank US Map.svg) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons

So I'm sorry for thinking less of you, Adam.  Thanks for the all of the Tweets.  I really enjoy having you in my timeline.

I think I'm going to call my mother and then do something to get in touch with the Red State side of me.

Update

Mom is doing fine.  Now I'm looking for somebody that owns a gun.

Update #2

Shockingly few number of gun owners in this part of Massachusetts.  I may just watch Fox News for a while, instead.

Update #3

Could not tolerate exposure to Fox News, so I went outside and threw a rock at a tree.

Update #4

Have not apologized and/or hugged the tree, yet.

A New Spin on the Mobility Scooter

My parents live in a condo that is part of an "Active Adult Community."  The place is basically a three-dimensional advertisement for assistive walking devices and other mobility aids.  The word "active" is taken with a pretty large grain of salt.

Each unit in the building has assigned parking spaces.  Next to one of my parents' spots sits this beauty:

I have yet to see the resident that sits upon this fine chopper and sports the matching helmet.  I do want to point out something that you may have yet to notice:

Yes, this scooter has a handicapped license plate.  I am of the firm belief that if one is able-bodied enough to navigate a red scooter through the streets of suburban Connecticut, then one should not qualify for handicapped parking.  Apparently the the Powers-That-Be in Connecticut's Department of Motor Vehicles do not agree.