|Xena: Warrior Zebra|
Here are but a few of the things people should worry about:
- The amount of time and energy that goes into debating and arguing about questions that only have one correct answer.
- Climate change
- Childhood vaccinations
- Women's health
- Public health in general
- The plausibility of plot lines on Grey's Anatomy
I spend very little time considering any of these items. I live in a school community that is truly self-absorbed and I wrap myself in a rather thick bubble. There are passing comments about Middle Eastern tensions or today's shooting in Ohio; but conversations in the classroom, throughout the halls, within the faculty offices, and at the lunch tables invariably revolve around campus events. The students do not have much perspective and, as expected, are a little self-centered. The adults are paid to focus on the students and be aware of all facets of life here at school. It makes sense that there is an insular feel about our lives.
Having a young family pulls my focus in even tighter. The world's news constantly flashes on the screens that surround me and I glance at headlines, or if particularly interested, scan an introductory paragraph. One exception came from the creators of Rants From Mommyland (not one of my usual reads). After watching this particular video I really took pause.
To be clear, it took me a moment to stop chuckling, but once I did, I just sat and reflected. I was not pondering the evils of the world nor the intricacies of human nature. I was thinking about how I may have permanently screwed up my daughter.
Before she was born, we were given an animal blankie (official description, not my word) from Angel Dear. My wife and I decided that this would be our daughter's Woobie (official description and my word). The gift was a pink zebra, and we were so determined to make this special that we bought a second one in order for there to be a backup at our daughter's daycare. Because I am a fan of both alliteration and warrior princesses, I suggested we name the zebra "Xena." My wife was kind enough to laugh and the name stuck.
Here's the dilemma, and here is where my thoughts often return. When it comes time to teach our daughter the alphabet and then help her with spelling, she will have no chance with "X" and "Z." How could she? The possession she has been unwittingly set to love above all others is named with each of these inherently confounding letters. To make matters worse, they sound exactly the same! "X" is for "X-ray," and "Z" is for "Zipper," says a responsible parent. At no point would a loving father introduce Xena the Zebra to a pre-verbal child and then watch her grow with that curse. If that were not enough, let me remind you that Xena is a pink zebra! My daughter won't be able to spell the possession she has been made to love above all others and she won't be able to recognize the actual animal it is
modled modeled after. I'm a teacher ... a science teacher. What have I done?
The astute reader will see many ways out of this problem. If you clicked on the link above, you saw that Angel Dear makes a more traditional black and white zebra blankie. For thirteen dollars I could pull a switch-a-roo, and after some initial complaining, all will be forgotten. Well you forget that we own two of these abominations, and this does not strike me as a twenty-six dollar problem.
Another may recommend changing the zebra's name. Can you do that? Is it like a boat ... is it unlucky to change its name? Regardless, it seems to be morally bankrupt to change a woobie's name just to fit your needs. I think she/it is Xena the Zebra for as long as her stitching holds out.
This is the mental whirlpool I live with. I spend more time considering the naming protocols for my child's toys than the tax rates for capital gains. I'm ok with that. I like my bubble. There are so many issues that need addressing and so many questions that need answering. I know I can peek outside whenever I choose, but right now there is a stuffed unicorn I wish to dub "Youkilis."