Mommy, She Was Cutting and Slicing Without Any Emotion At All!

For free range cattle they don't ... range very much.

I'm a carnivore.  I'm not proud of it.  I understand the huge waste of resources that goes into breeding, feeding, inoculating, and butchering my hamburger.  I am aware of the horrible treatment and cruelty many of these animals experience before becoming a meal.  I cannot articulate what makes one animal an acceptable pet and another an acceptable ingredient. This shirt makes me giggle.

I have considered weening myself of flesh with Graham Hill's plan:

I just like meat too much.  The sandwich at lunch is a mindless (and yummy) grab.  I don't know how to pair a wine with tofu.

I bring this up because I am waiting for a shoe to drop.  It's not a call from my doctor about my cholesterol.  It's a visit from the vegetarians.  You see, the young daughter of a family of vegetarians stopped by our place today.  She came to play with our daughter.  She arrived shortly after my wife and I returned from grocery shopping.  My wife had a beautiful beef shoulder on the cutting board and was carving it up to be marinated overnight.  To the jaded and cynical apex predator that I am, it seemed like an every day occurrence.  To a juvenile, animal loving, vegetarian ... it must have looked like a scene from Dexter.  Fortunately she was so fixated on our daughter that I don't think she noted the gruesome acts that were occurring just a few feet from her.  She certainly didn't comment or ask any questions.  I am just waiting for her to wake up from some horrific nightmare tonight and then explain to her entire vegetarian household what terrors haunt her dreams.

If you need to get a hold of me tomorrow, don't call.  I'm not planning on answering the phone.  Coming over may not be a great idea either.  The shades will be drawn, and although you may think you hear my voice inside, I promise you I'll be out of town.

If you are interested in some beef stew tomorrow night, however, we may have a little left over.