The Right Lane Can Pay Off

You can almost smell the fryolators and urine cakes from here.

If the Walmart truck pulls forward a little, I can cut across two lanes, nudge the Prius out of the way, hop the curb, and Bingo!

There are worse things than being stopped in traffic.  For example, being stopped in traffic while just inches past the exit ramp to a rest stop located three lanes over.  

"Charlton Plaza" may be a bit grandiose of a title.  If you do a Google Image search of the word "plaza" ... this place doesn't make the cut.

Face it, when you are stopped in traffic, there are three possibilities that can occur individually or in combination.  You are hungry; your legs/butt are sore and you need to stand up for a while; and/or you need to go tinkles.   While your vehicle is in motion, these are minor irritants.  When stopped on a three-lane parking lot, they become a big deal.  To be so close and yet so far from a solution to all of these problems, well it just seems cruel.

So nobody has to ever suffer through this horror, I am proposing a business collaboration between The Ford Motor Company, Coleman, Reliance, and Jobar International.  There must be a way to combine the award winning properties of the Coleman FryWell InstaStart Portable Fryer, the Luggable Loo, and the JB5462 Air Compression Leg Massager into the passenger compartment of a Ford Focus.  One would almost welcome traffic if such corporate synergy existed.

So now you know how I spent part of my vacation.  Anybody interested in starting a business venture with me?  If we design it right, we can get the waste products to power the car, or at least the air compressor.