Opposite Over Adjacent

Straight lines are boring ... literally and figuratively. Do you remember lining up in kindergarten so you could walk out together and go to recess?  There you were, having fun with your friends, playing with blocks or pestering the class bunny rabbit.  Suddenly, Mrs. Wiggins calls everybody to attention and asks the students to line up on the strip of red tape that was perpendicularly aligned and just right-of-center to the classroom door. No poking, no talking ... everybody facing forward and ordered like a row of corn stalks. Once Mrs. Wiggins’ assistant, Ms. Pamela, was satisfied that the collective will of a group of five-year-olds had been broken, you were marched out the door. Down the hall, past the ridiculously low water fountain, beyond the construction paper covered window of the speech therapist's office, you silently marched towards the doors to Valhalla.  Once you made it outside, you and your friends broke like a startled flock of grackles and revelled in the best twenty-five minutes of the day. The process, of course, was then repeated in reverse.  Mrs. Wiggins was waiting for you in the classroom, smelling like an urn of four-hour old coffee.  After the post-recess bathroom break, you were quickly ushered to the Story Corner where Stephanie’s mom was folded into a tiny chair while holding a clear plastic jacketed book on her lap.  Everybody sat “Indian style” on the rug, careful not to violate the curved, woven demarcation that separated Story Corner from linoleum covered world of academia.  In short, kindergarten was awesome!!!  It’s a perfect way to spend a day, except for the lining up and silently marching up and down the corridors. That part is like being stuck in traffic for little kids. We don't even give five-year-olds horns to honk or let them flip Ms. Pamela off when she obstructs them from getting to their forty-five player kickball game. I might tell my daughter that she can go ahead and pee in her pants whenever Ms. Pamela keeps her from having fun. The temporary feeling of discomfort and embarrassment will be easily outweighed by the frustration felt by that twenty-two-year-old dream-crusher.